The first step any couple must take in recovering from infidelity is to determine if the relationship should be or can be salvaged. The following are seven critical questions you need to ask yourself and your partner to know if your relationship can survive.
1.) Is the situation isolated, or is it a pattern. In other words, has the unfaithful partner shown patterns of infidelity or unfaithful behaviors in the past, or is this disloyalty a one-time thing?
2.) Do you feel that your spouse owns up to what they have done, or do they make excuses?
3.) Do they understand exactly what this has done to you, and how much they have hurt you? Do they realize the gravity of the situation?
4.) Are they truly sorry for the choice that they made, or are they just sorry that they were caught?
5.) Is this person willing to clean up the mess, and do what it takes to mend what they have done? Or, do they just want to forget about it and move on? Are they willing to give up their freedom to enable you to trust them again?
6.) Is doing this out of character for your partner, or are they insensitive in other areas of your relationship together? Do they really care about how you feel or about your well being?
7.) Is infidelity a part of their legacy? Did they grow up like this, or is this new behavior for them that is not present in their past, including family and past relationships?
Think about what these questions mean to you and to the survival of your
relationship. Be careful not to lie to yourself about the situation, and ask yourself these questions honestly. Don’t be afraid to seek out professional help, and talk to them about the questions above. The biggest decision for you to make in the road ahead, is whether or not you should try to save your relationship.
