Infidelity which simply means the state of being unfaithful to a spouse with another sexual partner or partners has eaten deep into the fabric of the family. Couples and partners begin to cheat or be unfaithful to each other for some reasons best known to them.
From my own point of view, without sounding judgmental, I think no reason is good enough for infidelity in the home, because the enormous consequences and damages dumped on a once happy home erode any immediate or latter satisfaction we could enjoy or derive especially where children are involved.
Marriage and family therapist(Mrs.) Lindsay Scot found out from her interaction with most divorced persons, that the most reason why there opted out of their marriage was not necessarily because of high level and consistent infidelity by the opposite partner and but majorly about the partner bringing home diseases. Mrs. Lindsay argued that when once any of the partners cheat, obviously he/she has brought in “disease “already into the home. It mustn't necessarily be STDS because the family will soon be on the verge of collapse as the family would face emotional, physical and even psychological sicknesses.
Carolynn Hat, an advice Columnist for Washington post, once enumerated the reasons for infidelity in her column which was filled by her readers on why the cheated on their partners and the following reasons were collated at the end of the day.
The participants reported that, there weren't sexually satisfied by one partner and as such, seek more satisfaction else where
Another reason is the urge to gain additional emotional connection or validation.
Other reason includes falling out of love with their partner and falling in love with a new partner.
Lastly, the reason for revenge sex, couples indulges in extra-marital affairs, just to get back at the other cheating partner.
Some of these reasons are quite absurd, because I believe people involve are selfish to sanity of the entire family, because a lot of times no hard work is invested into the marriage and even when these problems rear its ugly heads nothing is done about it. The fact still remains that there are no problems without their solutions. From an online survey taken by a good numbers of divorcees, it was found out that one of the partners was never willingly to bring sanity into any known and unknown issue or seek appropriate help even with all the available family and marriage therapists, marriage counselors, marriage licensed professionals, psychotherapist around.
If you do not understand, what I have been on about and do not understand the implication of infidelity on the family especially the children, well, I will be listing them out in simple terms for better clarification and in the long run, we could come to terms with the reasons why we should totally stay away from infidelity as a deadly cancer to the home.
Leaves a long-lasting scar on the children
Max Lyne,ph.D ,a child psychologist urge parents to refrain from infidelity because infidelity leaves or has a lasting negative impact on children, he explained that divorce does not only leave long term damage on a kid, infidelity does same. He went further to explained that when a parent cheats on his or spouse, they children feel they were cheated on too, leaving them worrying they aren't good enough for the cheating partner and this can bring about regressive behavior in these children, which could last for a long time.
Adopting the bad habit
A college counselor, while counseling one of his students inquire from him why he couldn't be faithful to his girlfriend and the revelation was shocking, the young man felt cheating on one's partner was actually a norm and he found the eye-brow raising about it abnormal, why? Because he grew up to see his dad cheating on his mum and the marriage still survive, so he felt it a way of life. So for such a child, he has being ruined from the word go and it will be difficult to correct such a lifelong experience.
Lacking trust for a partner
From a research carried out by Judith Matt, co-author of unexpected legacy of infidelity shows that experiencing parental infidelity during childhood leave children damage with trust issues, they tend never to trust their spouse and of course we know how accusing a partner falsely can be very annoying and in most cases can regenerate to a bigger problem. A child experiencing infidelity from either of the parent or both parents can leave the child with this deep-rooted problem of distrust, no matter how faithful the partner is. They become overly suspicious and they can't trust the other partner to act honorably and be there for them.
Cumulative negative experience
Many parents end their marriage because of infidelity prematurely, believing that the children will get over it but this is no to be in reality. The children will be faced with a lot of negative experiences from not being able to stick to a partner, to not trusting anybody, not willingly to be committed to a relationship, to hurting their partners emotionally because of their unfaithfulness, even ruining their reputation and be tag with names like Casanova, player, prostitute or a runs girl and even when they eventually get married divorce is not far from it, because in to time, his or her cheating ass would be dumped and the chain continues.
Becomes emotional wreck
Children whose parents have been unfaithful often react with intense feelings of anger, anxiety, guilt, shame, sadness, confusion and withdrawal. The bottom-line is when parents are role models of infidelity, they children have no option than to react negatively and of course they cannot give the partners what is not in them. They are bound to exude bad emotions and in the long run leaves a once bubbling and lively partner bitter and depressed. They become emotional vulnerable.
It is on record that when a parent betrays the other partner, a child's world and sense of the world at large are shattered, so please spouses should refrain from infidelity so s to stop ruining their children future and depressing them.
Have you ever been affected by your parents infidelity? Share with us in the comments section your experiences.