Are you having a hard time finding that special female companion online? Do you somehow feel you are not connecting as well as you should be? Well, your profile may be the culprit. You've spent a sufficient amount of time writing and polishing it up, and you've asked the advice of your buddies who've said they think it looks fine—but let's look at this from the view point of a woman. Let's face it, men and women are different species; what appeals to men may be a turnoff for women. There are many common mistakes guys often make on their profile; let's take a look at several of them.
Your profile name may be a hoot with your buddies, but is it unappealing to the opposite sex?
Take a look at the profiles of any dating site and you'll often see usernames that were intended to get a chuckle, but, more often than not, offend women. Guys with usernames such as “partyAllNite21” or “HotGuy_Wants_U” are usually not aware of the wrong signal they're broadcasting. There are very few self-respecting females that would think twice about striking up a conversation with a guy that refers to himself as “Mr_Perfect_4_U1980”. It's wise not to trivialize or to make fun of the online dating process. Most women simply glance at a username, and if it's not abrasive to their sensitivities they may decide to further peruse the rest of your profile; don't diminish your chances with a goof ball username.
When choosing a username, use a combination of good taste, clean humor, and common sense. Try not to pick something that would send out an improper, negative vibe. Incorporating your favorite past times and your name is always a safe bet. Think of all your positive attributes and the appealing aspects of your personality.
Does your profile resemble a stale resume?
Mentioning your job in your profile is always a plus, but don't enumerate every job you've had since your teenage years. Some guys get sidetracked when writing up their profile for the first time—it's much easier to neglect your emotional side by pouring out your career goals and aspirations. Try not to dwell on your career—or any topic for that matter—as it tends to draw attention away from the reason you are really here in the first place. Don't give women the wrong impression by blatantly advertising your workaholic lifestyle.
A sentence or two about your livelihood should suffice. You'll have plenty of time to talk about your job—don't clutter up your profile with 90% of it. Use your profile as a reflection of what you enjoy outside of the office; you'll have a much better chance of finding that perfect woman. Most women are looking for a compatible personality, and yakking about your 9-to-5 is a poor indication of what your personality is really like.
Don't limit yourself. Try not to sound too picky.
When filling in your match's ideal description, keep in mind that women often take those specifications literally. You may be thinking that you are listing desired general attributes—age, height, interests—and you assume that women will not view these qualities as stringent carved-in-stone requirements, but, truth be told, most women do. If a potential match finds that her weight is a couple pounds out of range, she may pass you up because of a small triviality. The bottom line is this: sounding too picky or judgmental can severely hamper your chances of a hook up.
It's ok to post your match preferences, but by giving some slack to your requests—adding a few years to her age, or perhaps a few pounds to her weight—you greatly increase your chances of hooking up with a fine catch that might not have thought themselves good enough to reply in the first place.
Dwelling on the negativity of past relationships can be dating doom.
Coming across as too jaded or bitter on your profile can result in a lot of missed opportunities. There are few worse turn-offs for women than sounding too hung up on past doomed relationships. Understand that your profile—perhaps aside from your picture—is an important first impression; women will send your profile through a kind of mental filter and any negativity will most likely result in an automatic lose of points.
Converting your negatives into positives is always a good course. Instead of pointing out that “I'm tired of playing games all the time”, try to soften it by stating “I believe honesty and trust is the cornerstone of any relationship.” With a little thought, any low points that you've experienced in your past relationships can be carefully rewritten so that they won't make you come across as tried and jaded. Remember, you want them to take an interest in you, so you must give off a pleasant vibe right off the bat.
Be sure to spend some time crafting your essay.
Many men don't really put much thought and time into their profile essay. What does one say? What is the best way to market one's self? Playing the strong silent type won't get you very far in the online dating scene. You can't afford to skimp on your essay when it's essentially a window into your personality. Many women use the profile as a deciding factor—should I continue based on what I've read so far? Always make sure that you have enough meat in profile essay.
Let's face it—you don't have to be as articulate as a seasoned novelist. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself. The best policy has always been honesty, and your profile essay should be no exception. Just let the reader inside the real you; give them a glimpse inside your personality. You can start by describing what a typical day would be like in your shoes. Mentioning what you do for a living and any of your hobbies is always a plus, as well as sprinkling little bits of humor here and there.
Displaying your vanity is a bad move.
Men often like to show off their six pack abs or their newly acquired tan in their profile photo, but women browsing your dating profile don't necessarily want to see the entire package just yet; an image of a macho guy flexing his biceps is not usually what motivates a female to immediately respond to your personal ad.
Try to maintain an air of mystery about your image—putting on a dressy shirt is not going to scare women away or make them any less attracted to your physical appearance.
Sweetness overload may be a bit too much at times.
Women are notorious consumers of pillow talk and romance—they eat it up, right? So you may be tempted to go overboard on the romantic talk, showering compliments galore. Ask yourself this: is this the way I usually talk to women? If it's not then your romantic rhetoric may sound fake and forced. Most women are actually looking for authenticity in men. It's a bad idea to project the sweetness-at-all-times image from the get-go—this move can often lead to a fragile first impression that crumbles at further inspection.
A better way to portray your playful side is to explain that you love to have a good time and joke around, but that you know when it's time to be serious. This lets the ladies know that you're not out just to play around, and it shows that you have a mature side, knowing when to deal with important issues. When you pour on the sweetness too thick, you may send out the wrong message—desperation.
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