Obiaks Blog

Relationship Visioning - An Exercise In Transformation


To grow and evolve, we need relationships for mirroring and feedback. Yet fear, negative assumptions and coping strategies can erode or destroy relationships. When we design relationships together with loving cooperation, they can be both enjoyed and utilized for conscious transformation.

This activity is designed to help you transform a current personal or professional relationship into a supportive experience, or imagine the best one for you. Write your responses in complete sentences. Be patient with the process, and yourself. This activity will be both the foundation of and guide for your relationship. Give it heart and soul from the beginning, and you will be richly rewarded many times over. An adventure awaits you. Have fun!

1) Determine your objective. You are doing this:
- Alone to manifest a completely new relationship
- Alone, to imagine the possibilities with an existing relationship
- Together, with someone with whom you are in relationship

2) Why do you want this relationship? What need does it satisfy? Why is this important to you?

3) Why do you think your partner wants a relationship with you?

4) How is this relationship different and unique from your other relationships?

5) Describe the kind of relationship you want. Describe what you actually do, and what you want each to give each other. Include why you think you fit each other's needs, values, preferences and standards.

6) On a scale of 1-10 (10 being high), what level of truth and trust do you want through this relationship? Explain why. What is its current level? If there is a discrepancy between the two, explain. Describe and explain what you are ready to do to enjoy this level of trust.

7) What feeling do you want to project to others? What is lacking or inconsistent? What are you ready to do about it?

8) What limiting patterns do you want to release? How do you want to be supported to change? How can you support your partner to release her/his limiting patterns?

9) Describe your attitudes, beliefs and conflicting values that will interfere with the partnering you described. Evaluate these and determine how to replace them with honoring attitudes, beliefs and values.

10) Determine your confidence with open, nonjudgmental communication, especially in awkward and challenging circumstances. Describe the changes you are ready to make.

11) Recall and describe the fears, resistances and limiting patterns you experienced while completing this activity. List them in priority order and explain what you are ready to do about them.

12) What must you learn and what skills must you develop, to better serve your partner, especially through challenging times? What resources will you draw upon? List the steps you will take and include dates, when appropriate.

13) How have your ideas, perceptions or feelings about partnering developed or changed from doing this activity? What will you do as a result?

14) Reflect on the points especially important to you, and describe how you feel empowered.