Gross Archive

Wonderful Neck Tie Jokes


Here are some interesting tie jokes that shall make you laugh indefinitely.
1. A man gets a new neck tie for his birthday but within a few days he takes it back to the shop. The salesperson at the shop asked him what was wrong with it he replied “One end is longer than the other end”.
2. A guy went into a restaurant lounge with his shirt open up at the collar and he was stopped by a bouncer who asked him to wear a neck tie in order to get into the restaurant.
The guy went to his car and looked around for a neck tie but then he found that he was not having one at that moment. He saw a set of jumper cables in the trunk so desperately he tied them around his neck and managed to tie a fair looking knot and let the ends dangle free.
He then returned back to the restaurant and again the bouncer looked at him carefully for a few minutes and said “Okay you can come in – just don’t start anything.”
3. A neck tie said to the hat – “You just go on a head and I will hang around.
4. A man was crawling through a desert and soon he was approached by another man who was riding on a camel so when that rider came near to him this man whispered through his parched lips “Please...Can you give me water….”
The rider replied him that “I am sorry because I don’t have any water with me but I could sell you a neck tie”.
The crawling man again whispered “Necktie? But I need water!”
Again the riding man said “There are only four dollars a piece”.
The man replied “I need water”.
“Okay two for just seven dollars”.
The thirsty man exclaimed “Please I need water”.
“I don’t have any water I have only ties” said the salesman and headed off into a distance.
By this time the man lost all track of time because he was crawling through the desert for many days. With clothes tattered and skin peeling under the restless sun he soon came near a restaurant. With his last breathe of strength he staggered to the door and confronted the head waiter.
The dying man again pleaded “Water.. Can I get… water”?
The waiter replied to him “I am sorry sir; our dress code requires a neck tie”.
For more information, log on to tying-neck-tie.info

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