The goal is to make your partner want you and not someone else. Here are 10 simple things that you can do which should keep your partner interested in you.
1. First and foremost you should try to trust your partner. This may of course not always be the easiest thing to do. But making your partner feel that you trust them, gives them the signal that you are confident. A confident person is always more interesting compared to a person who isn't.
2. Give your partner the space they need. If you let a bird fly away it is more likely to be loyal to you compared to putting it in a cage. In this situation the bird is more likely to fly back to you. However, if the bird is kept in a cage and it eventually manages to escape it is less likely to come back to you. Trying to control your partner will almost definitely lead to disaster. Give them a certain amount of freedom - but not too much. Some partners feel that an excessive amount of freedom is a sign of not caring or not being interested.
3. Whether we like it or not - we all have our insecurities. Your partner will have them too. Massage his or her ego by making compliments once in a while. The important thing though is not to over do it. If you swamp your partner with too many compliments they are either unlikely to believe you or they simply won’t accept them. Someone who has severe insecurities will struggle to accept an overload of compliments because they don't actually believe they are worth it. In this situation your compliments could backfire. If the relationship is young, start off by giving the odd compliment here and there and monitor carefully how your partner reacts to them.
4. Don't over do it with gifts. By overloading your partner with an excessive amount of gifts you could be sending out the signal that you are worried they may leave you if you don’t continue to buy them gifts. This could display a sign of weakness or insecurity on your part. You definately want to avoid this. Of course, surprising your partner with occasional gifts, at the right time, is the right thing to do. In fact, giving someone a present, especially if it’s an earned surprise, can often be more rewarding than receiving a present. So feel free to give your partner flowers, chocolates, nice sex toys, a weekend break away, or even a voucher for a massage, etc. Just don’t overdo it.
5. Keep your partner intellectually stimulated. People easily get bored if their partner lacks ideas or if they are not up to date with what is happening in the world. Bring new ideas to the table - and sometimes insist on them - even if you're partner doesn't agree. Especially if your idea means a lot to you or if you are certain that you are right. A great way of keeping your partner intellectually stimulated is to teach them something that they could not do before. This, simply put, will make you an interesting partner to be around.
6. Make an effort to look good - this ensures that you remain attractive in the eyes of your partner. Go to the gym, do yoga, go for a swim or do some other form regular physical exercise. Please bare in mind though that simply looking good is not everything. Mental attraction carries a lot more weight in a relationship compared to physical attraction.
7. Build a healthy social life outside the relationship. The things you experience when you are around other people will bring new ideas into the relationship. If you spend every day of the week with your partner you run the risk of letting you relationship go stale. This is definitely something to avoid. Keep the relationship interesting.
8. Don't fall into the routine trap. Some routine is definitely healthy in a relationship as it provides a certain amount of stability. Stability is without a doubt something we all need. However, too much routine sometimes can lead to boredom. Boredom can (not always) cause your partner to look elsewhere. Naturally this is something you want to avoid. It's important to strike a healthy balance between stability and change. Some examples of change: Introduce new foods to the relationship, don't always go to the same places on holiday, invite different people around for dinner, try a new hobby and in general – don’t be frightened to be spontaneous. Doing these things demonstrates to your partner that you are not afraid of change and it displays confidence. Confidence is definitely an attractive feature.
9. Don't be too indecisive. Constant indecisiveness can be a sign of weakness. What you definitely don't want is that your partner starts to make all the decisions for you. This can lead to a partner walking all over the other person. If someone starts to do that they start to take their partner for granted. This is something that you definitely want to avoid. Although a certain amount of indecisivness can on occasion be attractive as it will give your partner a chance to take the lead. The important thing here to remember is that it should not always be the same person who is in control. Control, in a healthy relationship, is very much a shared thing.
10. Finally, on a more lighthearted note - don't forget to smile and laugh. In fact it's very important to laugh and smile in any realtionship. Smiles and laughter will transfer to your partner - and they can draw from that, especially if they are having a bad day. Smiling and laughing also is a form of showing emotions. People who are able to show emotions display a certain amount of confidence. And that can only be a good thing.
To round of my article I would like to summarise what we have just learned. The two most important things in a relationship are Trust and Confidence. Have the confidence to occasionally show resistance. Resistance reminds your partner that you are actually there and that you form an important part in the relationship. Again, dont over do it with resistance - find a healthy dose. After having read all 10 points above - dont try to introduce them all to the relationship at once. You dont want your partner to think: "Oh, whats wrong with him/her?" Introduce them slowly, one by one. As you work your way through the list you're confidence will start to grow automatically - because you will start to see signs of success and you will get the feeling that you have achieved something.
