A Platonic friendship between a man and a woman, or a man and a man, or a woman and a woman, or a sheep and a goat, is where there is no sex involved. These types of relationships are named after a Greek Philosopher, Plato, (that was his wrestling nickname), who lived 2,500 years ago, 500 years before Jesus. Mary and Joseph had a platonic relationship, if you don’t count Jesus’ brothers. This sibling jealousy over Jesus having been born immaculately is the root of why the Jewish people do not believe in Jesus Christ, the God of 2 billion people today.
It is well known that Plato, his teacher Socrates, and his student Aristotle, were old pedophiles who lived to have sex with beautiful young boys. What isn’t as well known is why sexless relationships are called Platonic. Their philosophy was that the longing and desire for the beauty of the boy was the root of the relationship and that their sexual desire for the boy is what set the relationship on fire. Socrates was executed for corrupting the youth of Athens, not by his sexual shenanigans, but for questioning everything and everyone, including the Goddess Athene, the protector of Athens.
Blasphemy aside, it is a known fact that platonic friendships between men and women last, and sexual relationships between men and women do not. Why is that? Is it because I think therefore I am? Wouldn’t it make more sense to say “I think and this is evidence that I am?”
Actually Socrates hated his wife. He had three children with her, and said that learning to live with her enabled him to be able to cope with any other human being no matter how malevolent. How did she feel being married to a man moonwalking backwards on the top of his car at his internationally televised trial for pedophilia and dangling his newborn son upside down off the top balcony of the Paris Hilton? People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones, if they have any.
Enough about Mick Jagger, who openly admits to sympathizing with the Devil. At the time when Plato was prancing around with young boys, sleeping in bed naked with them but not touching them, the Jewish and the non Jewish residents of the Holy Land were sacrificing their first born sons alive on fire altars south of Jerusalem to the God Baal. The Jewish Priests lured the people into the Holy Temple built by King Solomon with Temple Prostitutes. Jesus Christ’s best friend was a prostitute and her girlfriends were prostitutes. So lets recap: 2 billion people on Earth today believe that the Universe and its trillion stars, the other planes of existence, and everything on Earth was created by a Jewish Rabbi named Jesus Christ who was born to a Jewish couple having a platonic relationship, and that soon Jesus will return flying down from Heaven on a flying white horse to defeat the armies of Satan, a part goat, part lion, part snake on his flying horse accompanied by his army of flying jockeys, a dead on plagiarism of the Greek Myth of Prince Bellerophon, and his flying horse Pegasus defeating the Chimera. When the level of violence and gullibility on Earth has reached such epic proportions it is amazing that that any couple can stay together without killing each other for over 5 minutes, sex or no sex.
The reason that sex kills a relationship is because it’s dirty. It’s expensive. We’re talking prenups. Ask Kanye, a modern philosopher who penned the tome Gold Digger. The 6 billion people on Earth today are cutting down every tree, our only source of Oxygen, to make Kleenex, because it’s cheaper than fine dining. This is the root of global warming. High priced lawyers. Did you know that Jesus never once mentioned the word Hell in his life? If you pick up a New Revised Standard Version of the Holy Bible, every time that Jesus says “Hell”, there is an asterisk beside the word “Hell”. If you look in the fine print, next to the vibrator battery section, the footnote says that in the original Greek versions of the Gospels, every time Jesus said Hell, he really said Gehenna, or Sheol, the place underground where both good and evil spirits lived after death. Did they mate there? How did they get along? So, the question is, why do your modern Bible Writers put their own word “Hell” into your Holy Bibles, and remove Jesus’ words Gehenna or Sheol, 1,435 times? Who cares about Plato? We’re all about to go up in nuclear flames while we heat up the sheets, whether it’s with our mates or our lovers or young boys, it’s all a diversion to make the lawyers rich.
Once upon a time there was a man named Lot, after whom the Lotka was named. God spared him and his 2 daughters because Lot was the only righteous man in the two cities of Sodom and Gomorrah. Lot had two young virgin daughters. Since there were no longer any other people on Earth, in order to keep humanity going, they gave their dad some wine, and slept with him, and had children. He didn’t know that it was them, even though they were the only 3 people on Earth, he didn’t recognize his own daughters in his bed, because he had 2 glasses of wine. We are all their direct descendants. And you want to know why sex destroys relationships? It’s because we’re all insane. And the irony of all ironies is that our map to creating paradise on Earth forever is hidden right in our Holy Bibles underneath tons of rubble, said Jesus Christ, and God of Mount Sinai through every single Biblical Prophet. This is why they were stoned. For delivering God’s message. You still refuse to hear it. And soon you will all burn alive in the nuclear inferno you create, Slaves Of Satan. Rudolph is a hundred to one at Churchill Downs. Merry Christmas, and remember to think positively, as if that will help. “You’re far better off pleasuring yourself”, said Plato to Euripides, in the Dialogues. “Your relationships and your genitalia will last longer.” Euripides: “You can say that again.” Plato: “Once is enough. I redundate, therefore I am.” Continue to probe the great mysteries of life. It’s all just a dream. Sleep. Sleep.
