The Perfect Christmas Gift

I suppose there is no such thing as the imperfect Christmas gift, but I am sure that there are some gifts that are less desirably received than others.
Let's take a look at the "Personal Trimmer." Every time I hear of one of these items or see it in the store I think, "nose hair trimmer." Hey, there is no way of getting around it: if you give this gift you are telling the recipient that the strand of hair hanging out of their left nostril is unsightly. Or, since the product is also marketed for the ears, you've noticed a bit 'o fuzz on their earlobes.
One way to test the wisdom of gift selection is by doing this: imagine your loved one at work hanging around the water cooler. "Bob" comes up and says, "so, what did you get for Christmas?" Your loved one replies, "I got slippers, some shirts, a tool case, and a really cool personal trimmer." Sure, like he is going to share this information with blabbermouth Bob, who is known to share "news" throughout the office. You get the picture: if he is ashamed of the gift he'll lie and say, "a one year subscription to Sports Illustrated" or some other tale. Never encourage your loved ones to lie!
For the ladies, you must always be careful what you buy for them. Us menfolk are at a disadvantage: we're wired to think practical while women are wired to think sentimental. Exercise equipment might be smart, but like the fella in the Best Buy television ad who purchased exercise equipment for his sweetheart, you don't want your wife to assume that you think that she is fat. In case you make that error, you must think fast and say, "no babe, I just want to keep you heart healthy so I have many more Christmas' with you!"
Unfortunately, men don't always think that fast. Better yet, if your wife tells you what she wants, get her that. You can always run over to Victoria's Secret later to purchase lingerie which she'll like because you like seeing her wearing it. Trust me!
Are you going to the neighbor's for a Christmas social? Then leave the Royal Dansk cookies at home. Better yet, don't buy them. Are they awful? No. Just too common. Like the unwanted fruitcake that gets passed around the family and neighborhood year after year the Royal Dansk cookie tin is getting the same reputation. If tasked with the responsibility of bringing a dessert and you aren't baking, pick something up at the local bakery. It'll be fresh and it will be eaten. Let them worry about their cholesterol level.
What should you buy the boss? Well, the standard gifts over the years have been wine or hard liquor, something for his desk [photo frame], or a personal item like a fold up umbrella. Boring! Rather, have some fun and purchase spyware for your boss so that he can spend the time snooping on his employee's internet access. See if that wins you valuable points during review or promotion time!
Seriously, maybe the whole gift thing has gotten a little bit out of line. Maybe we should think of more practical gifts to give such as: spending time with an elderly relative; volunteering to help coach your child's soccer team; or by making a cash donation to a relief agency in the gift recipient's name.
Two thousand years ago the greatest gift ever given, Jesus, was freely given to mankind; I believe anyone freely receiving His love is receiving that very same gift. Jesus is one gift that perfectly suits mankind: God's boundless love and unrestricted forgiveness.
This article originally appeared on Townstead.com, a defunct site managed by Matt Keegan. It was part of his "Life in New Jersey" series of articles.