I suck at personalizing greeting cards.
For whatever reason, I have always thought it necessary to add my own little message at the bottom of a card. Not because I don't think the good people at American Greetings do an adequate job capturing the moment on embossed cardboard, but because I want to make the card, you know, even more special.
So, armed with a pen and a fairly strong grasp of the english language, I prepared to add special messages for my mother and my wifes cards. Time passed, first just a few minutes, then hours. I just couldn't think of anything to say that the card didn't already cover. Everyone knows that if you plagerize a saying from the same card you are giving, you are in a whole new category of unorginal. For fear of being unoriginal, I kept at it.
More time passed. To make things worse, I was trying to fill out this card while Rhonda (my wife) was still in the house. So, when I heard her coming by, I would quickly hide the card. Two times I snuck into the bathroom, locked the door, and pretended to do my business. (Note: Nothing adds fuel to the fire of incompetency than pretending to take a dump while trying to write something sincere in a card.) After two go arounds with this, I realized that sitting on the toilet and using the sink as my desk was not the environment for crafting a beautiful message to the mother of my children.
I finally put pen to paper. After hours of struggling with writer's block and easing my wife's mind (who thought I had diarrhea), I hammered out this personalized message in her Mother's Day card.
"Have a great day!"
Swish!