Tracy is a very beautiful woman in her mid-thirties. She has a long painful history that she is working her best to leave behind, and she is doing a magnificent job. Now in therapy for some months, I helped her look at all she was left with after finally picking up her courage to leave a devastating marriage and a husband who had absolutely no desire for growth and change, let alone be a good loving human being. In a nutshell, “He was sure he was O.K. and also sure she was not O.K.”
It has been many years since her divorce and she is still picking up the pieces. Nothing she could do or be was enough, good enough, smart enough, long enough, short enough and also not ovulating enough! Tracy had been on a long fertility treatment. In her young days of marriage, and for years to follow, she was just not ovulating normally and had to be helped medically. Numerous miscarriages were had and she still kept trying.
Finally, the Miracle Baby happened! She saw that little angel as a miracle for all the hardship she was going through to help her pregnancy happen. Within the couple also reigned a nightmare for He was constantly bashing her for not even being “normal”.
After over 15 years, Tracy finally started to believe all those at work who were telling her how great she was, how good a person she was with friends and so on. She finally figured her husband’s constant criticism was not notified and, as he would not change, she could take no more. The separation is history.
However, since her separation, now that her little angel has grown and is attending school, she has become plagued with a very painful ovulation. Sometimes, it knocks at her door twice a month. She has no other symptoms than that nagging, regular, sharp reminder that she is a woman.
I invited her to take a deep look at all her history, too long to tell here, and imagine that there is a link to all her pain during ovulation and find out in what aspect her pain could become a distorted, insidious benefit or pleasure for her.
Like all the women to whom I present this approach, she could not see one at first. Given a good minute of silence and reflection, she realized how her ovulation simply meant she now KNEW she was NORMAL and that she could bear children if she chose too. No more need for medical help about her fertility. No more she would have to believe her ex-spouse that she was abnormal and not ovulating like “normal women do”.
A long look at all she went through during all those years of terrible psychological bashing and criticizing took her to realize that she now was on a path to accept and recognize she was O.K. A great ending for her session as she re-decided she did not have to allow pain to prove herself she was perfect as she was.
Our next session brought me the wonderful fulfillment feeling and pleasure to hear Tracy say she had had no pain whatsoever in her last cycle. Now, she also knew she was healed. Isn’t healing great? Blessings to you all.
