18 Ways To Join The Illuminati

The idea of a secret cabal of mysterious forces that make up the Illuminati has for some a "romantic" appeal. Granted that appeal may be filled with fear but it's a concept they hold on to in spite of reason.
Most of the Paranoid Conspiracy Theorists (PCT) have a habit of jumping to conclusions based on faulty evidence and reasoning. They are so good at it they could be finalists in the Olympic Conclusion Jumping Event. One of the common errors they make is that of constantly referencing each others works without going further back to find original source material.
But I digress... .
Let's suppose that in spite of reason and logic an Illuminati does exist and you were one of the rare people who wanted to join it. By joining the Illuminati you could build an empire that increased your personal holdings while further subjugating the uninformed masses of humanity.
Let's further assume that you were not born into the so-called "blood lines of the Illuminati" to whom access is most easily granted.
There must be a way to get "in".
Here are 18 things you can do to increase your chances of becoming a part of the Illuminati.
1) Take the long view of things. Be patient. The Illuminati is, if nothing else, patient with their goal of world domination. For the Illuminati nothing is "win or lose". It's a process, a game about collecting more power, money, security and influence.
2) Start your own form of Illuminati group that models everything you know about the so-called "real" Illuminati. Your members should want nothing less that more power, money, control and domination while at the same time making their influence appear invisible.
3) Study up on what the PCT say about The Illuminati and learn as much as you can.
4) Get a degree from Harvard. While there make it your intent to join the Skull and Bones Society or the Pen and Quill.
5) Subtly incorporate Illuminati symbolism in everything that you do. This will include The Pyramid with the All Seeing Eye, the snake swallowing it's tail, the ankh and any variations to them.
6) Join the Masons and aspire up the hierarchy of degrees. As you progress up the Masonic Degree system be on alert for those who might be hiding their secret ambition for world domination.
7) Join any other occult group that has a hierarchy like the Rosicrucian's and work up the degree system within it.
8) Study the "mystery religions" and occult practices.
9) Form a coven or magical group.
10) Strategically find your way into the social circles of the elite. This may be done by joining various boards of directors or volunteer groups. Or by finding people who are 'connected' and working into their social circle.
11) While in these groups cautiously demonstrate a) your ambition and b) your inclination toward the occult.
12) Build a group of "slaves". For legal reasons it's best that these relationships be consensual and from the Dominance/submission community.