Lucky for me, when these questions began swarming in my head, a good girlfriend of mine, who has lived in Italy for a number of years, was in town to visit her family. So, instead of digging through piles of statistics and wracking my brain to get the information so interesting for me, I contacted her and loaded her brain with all the questions.
Before I move on, let me make myself clear: by no means does this article include motives and wants of every Ukrainian woman, who submits her profile to a marriage agency. Moreover I will be the one to inspire the foreigners: do exercise caution once you chose the path of a marriage agency search. In the past, some Russian ladies from the FSU countries have provided more than enough negative publicity (read my article on scams in Lugansk city, Ukraine), but don't let that discourage you and miss out on a chance to gift someone the pleasure of communication and a possibility to find love. With that in mind, I proceed…
When I began questioning the motives of Russian women who take a chance on marriage agencies, my first discovery was quite disturbing. One of the top reasons why the FSU women prefer foreigners is that the men at their home country… aren't good enough. There are a lot of bad stories about the life of Russian girls in foreign countries. Why not admit that the reason is in those men at home, who, in my opinion, don't know what a family is?" - said Natasha commenting on the article in one of the leading Russian papers, which blamed marriages to the foreigners. "Unfortunately, the 'Russian' men have got a long way to go to keep up with the men from abroad." Some bridal agencies will give you the same information. An American journalist, who took a "Romance tour to find a Russian bride" trip to Ukraine as a part of his investigation for a story, says in his on-line journal that the instructor on the tour explained to him: Ukrainian and Russian men "drink, philander, alternately beat and neglect women."
Obviously, not every FSU man treats women this way. Nevertheless, a general conception that most Russian brides/Ukrainian women share of the men in their home countries comes down to a few common words: irresponsible, hard-hearted, too demanding and not willing to provide for their children, let alone their mother. Throughout history Russian women have been famous for the way they treated their family. They are loving, devoted and caring, and, coming to a marriage agency they dream to find someone like themselves to create a strong happy family.
The other thing noticed by Natasha during her three-year-long marriage to a foreigner: To tell you the truth, marrying him I didn't think about living in Italy... But for Italians the family is very-very important and they put a great emphasis on the family values. That meant a lot to me. Foreigners in general seem to be more serious about family and children, unlike the men at home."
In line with a lack of quality of the FSU men, there is also a lack of quantity. Statistics show that during 2002 the ratio men-women was 46 , and hasn't changed much since. Given that a large part of these 46% are people who can't be counted on for love, care and support, it leaves the ladies of Russia and Ukraine very little to chose from. Of course the solution to the problem is broading your horizons.
"All the good ones have been snatched away long ago, your chances to find someone in this country after you turn 25 are next to nil," Natasha mused over a cup of coffee (she married her Italian sweetheart at the age of 29). "It seems the guys (in Ukraine) disappear when they turn 30."
On the top of all said, the appreciation of their own femininity sets the FSU women apart from American or European ladies. Most foreigners note that the FSU women look different from the latter two, and I don't mean just their outward beauty, which has been mentioned and admired by many. These ladies like to look pretty, it is not unusual for them to wear a dress and pumps on a regular basis, they care about their body and like to be attractive. Bottom line, they want to be feminine, not feminist.
The FSU women cherish being a "weak gender", which for them means taking care of their family in the first place, as well as being cared for and appreciated. Promises of that seem to be given in abundance by Americans and Europeans, many of whom share an opinion that it has been too long since Western women have shown any aspiration to cherish the softer side of the "weaker gender". In comparison with a constant rush of the women at home to make careers and get equal with men, the feminine side of the FSU ladies is at definite advantage to the men from abroad. Even some FSU men will admit that "their" women are attractive to the foreigners exactly because they "remain women, not some emancipated feminists, like in the West".
Natasha dreamily remembers her very first visitings Italy: "When I was in Italy I was treated like a princess surrounded with attention, that I missed so much from our men. I think there is so much beauty (in Russia), that our men are simply used to it, it is mundane to them, they forget about simple compliments… Italians value beauty."
After all this, what can I say to the men in search of their destiny? It all comes down to what you are looking for. No doubt, there will be some money-hungry vamps, eager to trap you. If you want an exotic one night stand, you can find that in Ukraine, Russia or anywhere in the world for that matter. But there are no better places than Russia and Ukraine if you want to find a respectful, caring and loving woman who will cherish your family.
