This marital growth requires a great deal of commitment, trust, effort and reciprocity. Healthy and well built marriages do not happen by chance, they are created by a lot of hard work.
The basic element of “being one” in marriage is companionship. Like friends, couples need to be open with each other about their interests, dreams and goals.
It is difficult for a married couple to deal with certain problems when there are no common goals established. Goals enable the couple to realize that they are not competing against each other, and help them to work together and support one another.
Married couples should cooperate and work towards these dreams and goals with all dedication and devotion. Do not give up if you and your spouses goals appear to be too different. Talk and recognize that you both have needs, and try to set goals that will enable both sets of needs to be satisfied. Often, as you share your dreams, you will discover that in fact you both have similar dreams and goals; it was just the direction that you each wanted to take was different. This difference of direction can then be dealt with as you talk.
Often when you take time to communicate with each other regarding your needs and motivations, you will be surprised to learn that you both have identical dreams and goals. This is likely to be what drew you together in the first place.
So what types of goals should you set? Goals can center on your children, the family as a whole, your individual careers, your possessions and your pastimes.
The following are guidelines to better understand and relate with your partner's goals:
1. Know your spouse. Pay close attention to his or her habits and values.
2. Bond and respond. Whatever that goes on within your spouse’s life, in his/her career, you know that there are dreams and goals in each aspect. So be sensitive and take part; worry and celebrate in his/her accomplishments.
3. Let your spouse influence you. Be willing to share in his/her decisions. Understand his/her goals and when you do not agree at some point, at least support him or her..
4.Compromise. When your goals do not exactly match, know when to put the brakes if you feel that the conversation is becoming confrontational. Be calm and tolerant.
When you both have strong appreciation and understanding of all your dreams and goals you become closer together as a married couple, it makes married life a lot more pleasant and easier to handle. After all, you are partners in life.
