Ten Tips for Air Travel in 2006-7

Copyright 2006 Cole's Poetic License
(Domestic, economy class)
Air travel, you may have noticed, ain't what it used to be. Therefore:
1. Check your large bag. Carry your make-up and computer bags only. The airlines rarely lose luggage. Besides, you need to be free to wander airports unburdened. No clothes are worth tying you down, if you think about it. Also, no clothes are worth the effort of stuffing a suitcase into the overhead bin next to four others. The flight attendant pulls it out, turns it around and shoves it back in again with a smile. But you feel the anger in his back muscles.
2. Plan to spend as much time in airports as you do in the air—or more. Big city airports have interesting art exhibits to peruse while you're waiting for delayed flights. San Francisco has famous paintings about the sea and its mythology along with exhibits of all kinds of weird ocean creatures under glass. You can ride the moving stairway back and forth to take it all in. That's easier than going to a museum where you have to walk.
3. Expect flight cancellations, delays, gate changes and other snafus. Choose to relax and enjoy each one. You have that choice, you know. Some airplane, often yours, needs mechanical work which takes three hours. They rarely tell you what kind of mechanical work. There is no point in assuming it's major such as wing failure when you can just as easily assume it is a clogged sink.
4. Expect crying babies on every flight and /or kids kicking the back of your seat repeatedly. Feel grateful that they are not your kids, unless, of course, they are. Then you can feel grateful that you don't have to put up with anyone else's kids.
5. Get on and off the airplane last or near last whenever possible. Let the rest of the world be frantic. You have the choice to be calm. Actually, you have the choice to be happy, too. Simply say to yourself, "I guess I'll be happy for now. Why not?"
6. While hanging around the airport, notice the frustrated passengers pacing with their cell phones. Send them warm thoughts. It will make you feel great. They may not hear you at first, but if you keep it up, you'll be surprised. Eventually you will give them some real peace of mind and you will be able to see the change come over them.
7. Bring your own gourmet food to eat on the airplane and in those airports that sell only fast food. You can use a fashionable soft plastic carry-on cooler that fits easily into the overhead bin.
8. Carry a disc player with headphones for soothing hypnotic discs that put your brain waves on Alpha. Brain waves are electrical vibrations that flow in waves and can be measured by the number of pulsations per second.
Beta level is 14 to 20 pulsations per second—best for action.
Alpha level is 7 to 14 — best for thinking.
Theta level is 4 to 7 — sleep.
Delta level ½ to 4 — deep sleep.
The Beta level is the conscious level; Alpha is the subconscious where intuition works.
The most brilliant and successful people in history deliberately slowed their minds to Alpha level daily.
With the right discs you can shut out simultaneous airport announcements that cancel each other out. I can recommend several.
9. Make sure you have easy access to pencil and paper to record the great ideas you have while your brain is waving on Alpha level.
10. Then, when you put away your disc player and return to the Beta wave world of the airport, you'll feel refreshed. You find the movement and noise around you fascinating. You smile at the "Keep your Eye on Your Belongings" mantra, the offers from oversold flights, the scents of nervous sweat, T-shirt proclamations and cell phone conversations circling you.
You then read your book in peace and don't even notice that your flight is seven hours late.
It's a wonderful way to fly economy class, or do anything else, for that matter.