Dealing With
Absent Fathers
To be a father is a gift and children are a blessing. Although this gift is not easy to possess, it’s something every man should seek to be endowed with, this is my opinion. This writer is also of the opinion , that a man can never be complete until he fulfills the role of a father.
Now let me make something clear here. When I use the word father, I am not talking about a biological donor. This is a man who donated his sperm to a woman and left her to raise the children alone. In my estimate he is not a father, if he purposely neglects his children.
There are some who are the exception, although very few. For some it could have been the military, prison, school, a job or other situations. Even with these factors in mind, every man has to make a decision to put his family first and decide to be a father and raise his own children.
Circumstances change and can be altered by what we do and decide no to do. So, if you decide you want that million dollar home and you work eighty hours a week to keep it, you are just as guilty as the man who walks off and leave. Why, because both of you have your priorities out of place and both of you are neglecting your children by spending more than sixty percent of your time away from home.
Society holds a different standard for an excessive working father and an absent father. But in reality the children are left alone by both. The children want to spend quality time with there father and not only see him for one hour in the morning, one hour at night and half the day on a Saturday, and be ignored all day Sunday. Therefore an excessive working father is a bad father as well.
Notice I said an excessive working father, this is a workaholic daddy. He brings home the bacon, but he’s too tired and too busy to eat it or cook it with the kids. This father is driven by one thing, and that is to provide the natural things for his family. He fails to realize that children need moral support, social support and spiritual support from him as well. His job as the leader of his home is to bring proper balance of it all.
Yes, I think it’s a shame for a man to neglect his kids. But there are a lot of men who find themselves in a situation where they can not get along with the kids mother, yet they are determined to take care of their kids and be there for them.
There are men who are incarcerated for defending their family, or for whatever reason that was not in their control. These men need support and encouragement. They need not to be judged with the same measurement of the deadbeat dad.
May God have mercy on the man who just doesn’t care at all about his children. He lives to pretend he has no child at all. This foolish man (boy) does not realize that the problems he’s continually having in his life is the result of a curse upon him, for neglecting his children. God will not allow the children to suffer more than the father who walks away. Think not that it’s all okay.
I feel like the prophet Moses bringing a message to the lost fathers in the dessert. The dessert of prisons, the streets, the crack houses, the bars and clubs, and the ones who are hiding in corporate America. I have a message for you: Come back to your kids and let your children go free.
Our children are prisoners to a lost self identity and a lack of a positive male role model. Where are the men who are examples of true leadership. Where are the men who possess the power to change our society, not by what they do for others, but what they do for their children by leaving them a legacy to go forward and change the world.
Men your only responsibility is not to just provide financially for your children. This is the easy part. You are suppose to train, guide, discipline, nurture, encourage, and lead your children. They care not about the money, to them it only get’s them the things they believe will fill the void of a missing dad.
Kids will rebel against society because they are angry at their parents. For some reason we do not think this is the simple cause of a complex problem. Therefore, it’s the failure of the father that produces dysfunctional teenager who lives a life of violence and reproduces the same cycle.
No I am not looking for some one to blame for the condition of our youth, I have found him, it’s the irresponsible father. Therefore I charge him with murder, rape, teen pregnancy, aids, drug abuse, suicide, gang violence, and so much more. The irresponsible father is the root cause of the condition of a dysfunctional society of young people.
Men, when are we going to take a stand and be fathers of purpose and lead our own children. If we fail to do so, our daughters will fall in the hands of the wrong man who will destroy her, and our sons will either be lead into the streets by gangs or lead to prison by the police.
Realize the power you have to change your child’s life. You
Possess the key that momma don’t have and the government
can’t provide. You are the missing link.
Daddy Aint Home
Dealing With
Absent Fathers
To be a father is a gift and children are a blessing. Although this gift is not easy to possess, it’s something every man should seek to be endowed with, this is my opinion. This writer is also of the opinion , that a man can never be complete until he fulfills the role of a father.
Now let me make something clear here. When I use the word father, I am not talking about a biological donor. This is a man who donated his sperm to a woman and left her to raise the children alone. In my estimate he is not a father, if he purposely neglects his children.
There are some who are the exception, although very few. For some it could have been the military, prison, school, a job or other situations. Even with these factors in mind, every man has to make a decision to put his family first and decide to be a father and raise his own children.
Circumstances change and can be altered by what we do and decide no to do. So, if you decide you want that million dollar home and you work eighty hours a week to keep it, you are just as guilty as the man who walks off and leave. Why, because both of you have your priorities out of place and both of you are neglecting your children by spending more than sixty percent of your time away from home.
Society holds a different standard for an excessive working father and an absent father. But in reality the children are left alone by both. The children want to spend quality time with there father and not only see him for one hour in the morning, one hour at night and half the day on a Saturday, and be ignored all day Sunday. Therefore an excessive working father is a bad father as well.
Notice I said an excessive working father, this is a workaholic daddy. He brings home the bacon, but he’s too tired and too busy to eat it or cook it with the kids. This father is driven by one thing, and that is to provide the natural things for his family. He fails to realize that children need moral support, social support and spiritual support from him as well. His job as the leader of his home is to bring proper balance of it all.
Yes, I think it’s a shame for a man to neglect his kids. But there are a lot of men who find themselves in a situation where they can not get along with the kids mother, yet they are determined to take care of their kids and be there for them.
There are men who are incarcerated for defending their family, or for whatever reason that was not in their control. These men need support and encouragement. They need not to be judged with the same measurement of the deadbeat dad.
May God have mercy on the man who just doesn’t care at all about his children. He lives to pretend he has no child at all. This foolish man (boy) does not realize that the problems he’s continually having in his life is the result of a curse upon him, for neglecting his children. God will not allow the children to suffer more than the father who walks away. Think not that it’s all okay.
I feel like the prophet Moses bringing a message to the lost fathers in the dessert. The dessert of prisons, the streets, the crack houses, the bars and clubs, and the ones who are hiding in corporate America. I have a message for you: Come back to your kids and let your children go free.
Our children are prisoners to a lost self identity and a lack of a positive male role model. Where are the men who are examples of true leadership. Where are the men who possess the power to change our society, not by what they do for others, but what they do for their children by leaving them a legacy to go forward and change the world.
Men your only responsibility is not to just provide financially for your children. This is the easy part. You are suppose to train, guide, discipline, nurture, encourage, and lead your children. They care not about the money, to them it only get’s them the things they believe will fill the void of a missing dad.
Kids will rebel against society because they are angry at their parents. For some reason we do not think this is the simple cause of a complex problem. Therefore, it’s the failure of the father that produces dysfunctional teenager who lives a life of violence and reproduces the same cycle.
No I am not looking for some one to blame for the condition of our youth, I have found him, it’s the irresponsible father. Therefore I charge him with murder, rape, teen pregnancy, aids, drug abuse, suicide, gang violence, and so much more. The irresponsible father is the root cause of the condition of a dysfunctional society of young people.
Men, when are we going to take a stand and be fathers of purpose and lead our own children. If we fail to do so, our daughters will fall in the hands of the wrong man who will destroy her, and our sons will either be lead into the streets by gangs or lead to prison by the police.
Realize the power you have to change your child’s life. You Possess the key that momma don’t have and the government can’t provide. You are the missing link.
Excerpt from The Love Book
copyright 2004 By Danny Gilbert All Rights Reserved
Danny Gilbert is an author a motivational speaker and founder and president of Power Living Seminars
for more information visit:www.powerlivingseminars.com
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