As the saying goes ‘money is what makes the world go round’ and not being able to spend money on the things you want to spend it on significantly increases the levels of stress in a relationship.
It is particularly hard when couples:
• first get together after having it easy living at home,
• have only had to think about number one in the past,
• have a new baby to consider,
• have been used to good incomes and are then hit by hard times or
• have just let their finances get out of control.
Having enough money to spend is important and it is so easy for spending to get out of control. I know so many people who just spend and spend, leave nothing for a rainy day and get deeper and deeper into debt. They often look at me and wonder why I don’t have any financial issues, well that one’s easy, I have never spent more than what I have earned and never spend all the money I have. I always keep a little back and it avoids all the stress when that unexpected bill comes in!
When money is short stress levels rise and with increased stress levels comes the constant bickering, the blame culture and other relationship issues start to arise. Financial problems in a marriage just compound marital problems and small things that were never previously an issue start to come to a head.
When husband and wife do not have the same opinions as far as the family finances are concerned, financial problems in a marriage become a far greater issue. Partners need to understand that personal finances need to be managed, expenditure planned and bills met even in harder times. They need to learn to focus on the real issue at hand, which is money, and not start picking at other aspects of the marriage which wouldn’t have previously been a problem.
I’m not saying it’s easy, trying to get your spouse to curb their spending habits is difficult especially when you can’t see light at the end of the tunnel but, if you don’t take control of your finances the problem will just escalate and escalate until it is totally out of control.
You have to stop living beyond your means, take control of your finances now and make sure you understand what cash is coming in and what is going out. Write it down, see it in black and white and then eliminate as much of the unnecessary expenditure as you can possibly cope with.
Consolidate any loans you may have but look at the small print, don’t go to companies that are going to rip you off, make sure you shop around. Choosing the wrong loan can be extremely costly and mean more time paying it off. Every penny spent on interest is money that could have been yours to do with as you please!
Set your budget so you can cover repayments plus a bit more (contingency), find ways to cut back and stick to it. If you can cope with paying the loan back quicker then do it. It may be hard in the short term but in the longer term it delivers exceptional rewards. Remember, higher repayments means less interest and more money in your pocket at the end of time!
Oh! and if you want to resolve financial problems in a marriage don’t forget one golden rule that will sort your finances out that much quicker - limit credit cards, if you have to have one then limit it to the one and always, and I mean always clear the balance at the end of the month.
Don’t leave debt on your credit card unless of course its 0% finance – remember 0% means money in your pocket. Again don’t get caught out by the small print and end up paying interest on everything you buy thereafter – transfer your balance onto a new card, make use of the 0% finance but don’t buy anything else using that card.
If you can’t stick to the rules and only spend what you can easily clear at the end of each month rip up every card you have. Don’t increase the amount you owe!!
If you want to save your marriage resolve those financial problems before they take over your life.
