Losing your castle can either be really great or really traumatic depending on how ready you are for what’s ahead. The transition from bachelor pad to love nest has been and can be survived with the proper planning and understanding. If you are ready for the eventual changes and proactive in their implementation the experience promises to be a positive one. On the other hand if you ignore the needs of your new “roommate” and disaster looms ahead. It should be noted at this point that it’s essential that you get along. If you don’t get along living apart it probably won’t get any better once you’re locked in together everyday.
The concept you will have to get used to the most is that of sharing. Sharing space, sharing meals, sharing the remote, sharing duties and sharing decisions on everything. Hopefully since you’ve decided to move in together due diligence has been used in making this decision. It’s tough for anybody to go from King of the Castle to a 50/50 partner just like that. What’s more, those numbers might not be entirely accurate. Using the “tie goes to the runner” theorem it’s sometimes more like 51/49 for her. This is OK though. You will need to give in order to take.
Certain issues are sure to arise and there are times that you just need to do what you’re told. Cleaning falls into this category. Standards are going to go up. Actual cleaning products will need to be purchased. There may be a schedule involved. You need to use this as a positive. You might as well start taking some joy in living in a clean, organized environment. It’s really not all that bad. I motivate myself using the 2 for 1 theory. For every good thing I do, I get two good things back. If you start to enjoy a clean bathroom, you’ll always want a clean bathroom. That’s one. By keeping the bathroom clean you are justified in playing weekly golf with the boys. That’s two. Do one thing, get two. It’s all a matter of perspective.
With the right attitude you can embrace these changes. After a while you may just find a clean bedroom floor or getting into a made bed at night makes life that much better. You may find that having your posters and old paint replaced by some soothing décor goes a long way towards putting you in a more relaxed state of mind. Maybe it makes you a little more agreeable. Maybe you can focus better playing X-Box. Never say never. And hey, if you’re going to watch a shoot‘em up blow’em action adventure on the big screen it might as well be in a relaxing comfortable room. If you let her hang the pictures you will be allowed to try to shake them off the wall with the 5.1 surround. Plus it looks nice. 2-for1.
Take the time to do little things for her around the house. It’s these little things that count for so much. Leave little notes, arrange her stuffed animals on the bed after you make it, put the seat down, give her a massage, and bring her flowers for no reason. You’ve taken this plunge so why not make it as good as it can be? Don’t compete over every little thing. Work together and towards one goal. You attract more bees with honey as the old saying goes.
While initially it may seem that you’re losing a lot (space, power, freedom) take the time to see and enjoy the benefits of a mutually understanding partnership. You will see that the positives far outweigh the negatives. Please don’t take this article as a way to get an angle on everything. You should do all this stuff because you love your girl and nothing makes you as happy as making her happy. At first it can be a little overwhelming. I’m just trying to help ease you in. Take care of the little things and the rest should fall right into place.