I Am More Than A Mother

Copyright 2006 Pat Brill
How to balance the different roles you hold as mother, daughter, sister, soul-mate, best-friend and more…
It’s easy to get so engrossed in Motherhood that your other relationships begin to suffer. It’s not intentional, but you barely even have enough time in your busy day to take a shower, let alone return phone calls or make friendly visits. You begin to feel the guilt seeping in slowly but surely, as your mother exaggerates on your voicemail that she has begun to forget what you look like! After hearing the message you retreat to your bedroom only to find your overlooked husband cuddled-up to the body pillow for intimacy. So, on top of being completely overwhelmed with a thousand things to do around the house and with the children, you now have shame resting comfortably on your shoulders for isolating your loved ones. Before you attempt an act of multiplicity, here are a few simple ways to balance your different roles without going crazy in the process.
As a Busy Mom, there will be times in your life when you may grow anxious or depressed with the sudden changes in your world and feel unappreciated. This is the ideal opportunity to turn to your family and circle of friends because, 9 times out of 10, they‘ve been there, understand, and may even have some helpful tools to get you through it. You surely didn’t enter this world solo, and as a Mom you don’t have to wear yourself out trying to do everything by yourself.
Moms often feel the responsibility of taking on the entire family agenda. By the time a friend or family member extends an invitation to do something fun you are completely exhausted and don’t have the time. Try planning activities and trips for your family that you can do in conjunction with others. Collaborate with your girlfriends about the children’s extra-curricular activities so you can hang out while they’re occupied. Arrange your hair appointments and weekend shopping so you get to spend time with your sister. Schedule an early bedtime once a week so you and your husband can spend some quality time alone. And no matter how busy you get, make sure you find 30 seconds to ask your spouse about their day and say “I Love You”.
Technology is on Mom’s side. When you begin to feel out of touch, hop in front of the computer and send emails to let everyone know what’s going on in your world. Mom’s forgotten what you all look like? Kodak Ofoto (www.ofoto.com) and Shutterfly (www.shutterfly.com) have excellent free software allowing you to share digital photos and videos. Your loved ones can even order prints for themselves so they can see first-hand what everyone is up to and how much the children have grown. If you are the kind of Busy Mom that doesn’t have time to talk on the phone, send quick text messages through your cell phone when you get breaks in your busy day.
It’s easy to forget the things that make Moms feel happy and complete when their focus is on everyone else. Take some time to reflect. Write down things you used to enjoy and miss doing. Add to that activities you never tried but would like to experience. Now come up with creative ways to merge them into your monthly schedule.
The key factor in making time for the important people in your life is to be able to effectively communicate your needs and desires. If taking care of the children is holding you back, speak up and ask a family member or friend for help. The people who love you will want to assist you in some way. Avoid asking the same people for help repeatedly. Tap into your entire support system so you don’t take advantage of one person’s kindness and willingness to assist.
Now, look in the mirror and affirm, “I am more than a mother. I am a sister, lover, daughter, and friend. Yes, I was born as a nurturer, naturally, but I have qualities that transcend social function and stigmas. I have a purpose to thrive creatively and spiritually without limitations and barriers. I am destined for greatness and I accept and welcome the positive support from my girlfriends, family, community, and soul-mate.” And celebrate the fact that you are more than a Mother and you are proud of each and every title you hold in the lives of those you love.