• Create a separate email, and choose an address that does not reveal your real name. This gives you privacy, and also helps you keep your business and personal correspondence separate. Considering that you may get hundreds of emails a day, you’ll appreciate that kind of organization.
• Don’t give your private information in your profile or early on in your correspondence. This includes your last name, personal email, home address, work address, or position and company. And if you want to talk to each other on the phone, sign up for a service that will block your number from Caller ID, or talk on the cell phone instead.
• Be honest in your ads and email correspondence. Lying will only attract people who aren’t your true match; they’ll fall in love with the fake you, and then if you do develop a relationship, you’ll face that uncomfortable task of telling them that you’re not who they think you are.
• Don’t answer emails on the same day. You don’t want to look too desperate. Wait a bit, whet their appetite, and let them know you have a life outside of the Internet. A two to three day wait is just right: you’re not being rude, but you don’t look too needy, either. Besides, when they’re waiting, they’re interest grows: they’ll be imagining what you said, wondering about your reaction.
• If you do decide to meet up with someone you met through Internet dating, meet in a public place and inform a friend where you’re going. Schedule it in for lunch or coffee, rather than dinner. At least he won’t have to bring you home and find out where you live, and if the date bombs it’s easier to think of the excuse that you have a meeting. For additional safety, you can even ask some friends to have lunch in the same restaurant (they’ll probably be curious about him anyway!”
• Watch out for warning signs that the person you’re taking to is, to put it mildly, “a little nuts.” This includes flashes of temper, being pressuring or controlling, rude and demeaning remarks, inconsistent facts about age, interests, employment, etc., refusal to give direct answers. You can also actively try to “test” the person’s consistency by intentionally making a mistake when referring to something he said in the past. For example, if he said that he had a Labrador Retriever when he was growing up in a farm in Texas, casually say in a line, “Oh, I saw the most adorable sheepdog in the pet store, and I thought of you!”
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