Anyone that has said marriage was easy had to be single! There is nothing easy about merging your life with another person. Several decades ago, people did not divorce because they were in circumstances in which it was simply not an option – women could not support themselves and society did not accept it, among many others. Now, however, marriages are ending left and right. If you are in a marriage that is on the rocks, it may be a good time to consider whether your partner and the life you have is worth saving a marriage. As difficult as it is to make a marriage work, it is even harder to save one that is already damaged.
In looking at saving a marriage, you should not only look at current circumstances, but also the history the two of you share together. How did you meet? What was it that made you fall in love? Were you ever really in love? At some point, you should consider the good times instead of only dwelling on the bad. If you and your spouse are experiencing a bad time, it is easy to block out that good times ever existed. However, you should be fair to yourself and your partner.
Then, it is time to look at the bad times. Did either of you cheat? Are there other major issues that have occurred between you that one of you has a hard time dealing with? Sometimes these major issues get buried over time, but the resentment remains and it eats away at the relationship. Do you find yourself being mad at your spouse over little things or for no reason at all? If this is the case, you should really look at the underlying issues you have.
At some point, you should close your eyes and picture what the perfect spouse would be. Not Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie, but the real characteristics you would like to have in your spouse. Then you should step back and see how your spouse measures up. You should be very careful to be realistic in this exercise. If you have unrealistic expectations, you will never be happy with anyone. However, if the essential core of your spouse is deficient, you may be selling yourself short by staying.
Although saving a marriage is difficult, you should not rush off and get a divorce. You should, however, try to be fair to you and your spouse and choose to both try wholeheartedly or to let go completely.