Things sure were different last Thanksgiving! That was before I finally broke down and ordered some Generic Viagra, determined to satisfy my nymphomaniac wife, who'd caused quite a scene at the family Thanksgiving gathering, which was at our home, as usual. She'd broken into hysterics when she pulled out the turkey baster to baste the freaking turkey with. I guess she was jealous of the stupid turkey, getting that nice, juicy baste of juice. She remembered how I used to baste her, and also remembered how I'd refused to order Generic Viagra. And believe it or not, she let her mother and every other member of the extended family hear all about it, right over Thanksgiving dinner. I, for one, was scandalized. The rest of the family just chuckled at my expense. I was crestfallen. After this humiliation, I knew my proud cock-of-the-walk would retreat into its coop and never show its head again, unless I ordered some Generic Viagra. And I did exactly that, that very night, with the vow to bang my wife into hysteria over the coming year, so that next year, when I saw my beloved Motherinlawasaurus Rex, I'd be able to cause a scene of a different sort. I placed my order for my Generic Viagra on the Internet, as soon as the last football game was over, and in just a couple of days, it arrived. When my wife got home from her silly holiday mall grazing, I burned her little barn down. She was finally satisfied, and slept like a baby. I doubt she rang up her mom to tell her of my triumph-but then, I wouldn't put anything past those two. I wonder why they didn't marry each other. I guess that's illegal in most states.
After our Generic Viagra year, my wife had a lot to be thankful for. Of course, I hadn't exactly suffered either; it had felt good to get my rocks off. To "take a load off," as the saying goes. I was relaxed, loosey-goosey; and my wife had mellowed out quite a bit too. Like most women, she was never really happy unless she was getting pounded hard, and every which way. That's the way she liked it, and since I'd ordered Generic Viagra, that's the way she'd been getting it. And so, the world kept turning, and finally, the next Thanksgiving arrived. Once again, her entire obnoxious, ignorant family pulled into my driveway and stank up my bathrooms. Her mother came to the door with a fake, saccharine smile; it was all I could do to play the gentleman and kiss her on both cheeks without retching all over her tacky dress and fake pearls. I wanted to give her some Generic Viagra and tell her to please have her husband turn that frown of hers upside down for the first time in twenty years. Well, I controlled myself. I was plotting something to really blow her mind. I wanted to go on a tirade.
I wanted my precious mother-in-law to understand that, with the help of Generic Viagra, I was the undisputed man of the house, and that I was making her little girl feel like a woman every other night (at least!). I'd been plotting my revenge all year, and I'd concocted a brilliant, extremely dramatic plan. It involved the turkey baster. I was going to get freaky in front of the entire extended family. They didn't have to know about the Generic Viagra inspiration for my harangue-only that I was wearing the pants around here, and that they'd better not laugh at my supposed "impotence" if they wanted to be guests in my home. I'd throw them all out on their asses-if I never saw any of them again, it would be too soon! To be continued!