The first step in managing your fears and worries is to recognize that you have them, and then to make them real.
Write out a list of each of the fears and worries you have. Many of the items on your list will not stand the light of day. You will immediately realize that some of them are silly or just aren’t things you should be worried about. Take each of these items off the list.
Next, take each item and make a list of all the things you can do about it. This shows you that in most cases you will be worried about something that you can't control at all and that your worry serves no purpose. Vow not to worry about things you can’t control and take them off your list. In the case where you can do something to reduce the worry, your sense of control is enhanced, making you feel better.
Now, ask yourself what is the worst thing that could happen with each worry. In most cases you will find you can live with even the worst outcome and this will also make you feel better.
Once you are down to a hard-core list of fears and worries that you can control, set up a plan to control them. What options do you have? Who can you ask for help? Exactly what has to be done, when? Realize you have a lot of control here and give yourself credit for taking action as you do so in order to lift your spirits.
Also, it helps to realize that you can feel the fear and still take action. Fear serves a purpose in that it is a great “alert” mechanism that helps us stay out of trouble. But once we “get the message” fear has done its job and starts to get in the way. Fear and worry can be a positive if we use it as a call to action and fix a problem. If you acknowledge the fear, and then proceed with what you need to do, you will find you are able to function in spite of the fear.
Here are some other tips that will help you feel better. Make an effort to concentrate on breathing. We tend to limit our breathing when we are fearful. You will feel better, the more you breathe. Also, meditation will help reduce stress and take your mind off your worries. Visualization and affirmations that help you focus on becoming positive in light of the situation can help you move forward while acknowledging the fear. Do not forget physical exercise as a way of reducing the stress that goes with fear and worry.
Once you begin to have things under control, change your focus from the negative fears and worries, to the positive things in your life. When you catch yourself worrying, bring new positive thoughts into your mind. Change your thinking from the “cup is half empty” to the “cup is half full”. Suddenly things that were worries are now positives.
Another way to help reduce the amount of fear and worry in your life in the future is to begin to do more planning on the things you will be doing. Look for areas that could become problems and begin to cover all the contingences. Forward planning will build your self-confidence and ward off those nagging fears that something is not right.
So now you have the tools necessary to reduce the fear and worry in your life and replace them with a justifiably positive attitude backed up with action and solutions. Start using these tools right now and begin to live a happier life.
