Spontaneity, like a lot of things, is all about learning to trust your self.
Some people are just too spontaneous in things they do, they tend to trust themselves and their instinct a lot without judgement-- the blurting out the first thing that comes to their minds. But for a lot of the rest of us we lack this attitude-- even small decisions are as weighty as those a Court case, we see things as a big deal. Maybe it’s time to loosen up.
But as that famous phrase Be Spontaneous Now connotes, it’s not a head thing that you can come at directly, that you can think through. That said there are planned steps you can take to lighten your stride. It’s about shifting your source of internal info, rewiring your brain through action, and getting comfortable with taking risks.
Here’s how to get started:
Listen to your gut and learn to trust your self
What gets in the way of spontaneity is your rational, overly-cautious and often-anxious brain: the think-twice, should-you or shouldn’t-you, what-will-others-think, how would people react. We manage to keep a lot of this mental chatter down by simply falling to set-routines and auto-pilot behavior.
Spontaneity resides not in this heady stuff but in our gut – the wants and not-wants, the like and not like. You want to become more aware of these feelings, however quiet they may be, in order to learn to tune into them, increase their power, rely on them as a source of information about you and your needs. You can start by simply asking how you feel about something – like or not – and not dismissing it. Better yet, taking action on it before it fades away.
Don't over think thinks
Got an urge for pizza – go for it. You want to visit a friend -- go for it, you want to do anything -- go for it. Do not over think things. You are not doing your self any good. Most of the time we overthink things simply because we do not want to make mistakes -- but we have forgotten that the first thought that comes out of our mind is always the correct one because it is coming from the inside of our heart. Do not be too rational, don’t worry about planning all the time, Just focus on what you feel like doing at that point in time and just do it -- forget about thinking too much
Take verbal risks
Time to bring in the verbal, relationship side of the equation. Like or unlike your friends and colleagues who blurt out all the time, you want to bring this spontaneity to your speech – be less cautious and censoring. Again, small steps. Raise your hand and speak up at a staff meeting when something tugs at you when you would normally let it go. Tell your partner what is bothering you when your tendency is to say “it’s no big deal”.
And even if you can’t think on your feet in that staff meeting or with your partner, and need time to process, that’s fine. Two hours later send an email to your supervisor or text your partner about how you feel. But do it more spontaneously – don't worry about getting it right, don’t obsessively edit; feeling that edge of risk lets you know your expanding your comfort zone.
And that’s the goal here – to expand that comfort zone, feel more comfortable with taking risks, develop confidence in your gut reactions rather than constantly relying on your more cautious rational mind. Do not be a slave of your own self because not being spontaneous can be make your look heavy inside --- learn to be spontaneous because it makes you high and free.
