The economy has changed the world over and our patriarchal
society has evolved and in the long run women are not only heard but also seen,
this has brought about the evolution of both sexes juggling both career and
family life unlike before where only the men do the career thing while women
took care of the home front.
With this revolution,
it has left the children at the mercy of deprivation of good quality time with their
parents; care, love, mentorship, guidance and goodwill, making the children
vulnerable to a lot of deviant behaviors.
A renounced child psychologist Ms Prisca Brown, MD, “Child Care Trust”, is
of the opinion that with the abdication of parenting responsibilities,
especially the way children care have been left in the hands of nannies and
care givers, children will be growing up without proper bonding with their
parents and of course, this comes with diverse consequences.
A research carried out by a home owner for the aged, showed
from the answers filled by the children that drop their parents off the aged home,
shows a large percentage of children answering in the affirmative that one reason
of not bonding well with their aged parent, point to the fact that, they were hardly
close to such parent in their growing period.
A fulfilled warlord on his sick bed was once asked what he
regretted most about life and his answer was mind boggling and an eye opener
when he said that he was quite impressed
with the outcome of his life and even on his dying bed he was happy with his
career life and wish to come in the next life as a fighter but sincerely wished
he had done one thing differently and that is spending more time to care and
bond with his kids and this singular regret alone has killed the joy of all his
labor both in his land and on foreign land and even on his sick bed he wrote a book on “parental requisite for successful
children upbringing”, and till his last breathe he became a fore-runner and an
advocate for parental bonding successful children upbringing.
From an online study the following were enumerated as the
merits for bonding with the kids even as career driven parents:
·
it
makes the children happy and they will not be social deviants
·
this
will make the children to be mentally and emotionally stable
·
positive
bonding with a child gives the child a sense of belonging ,security and a solid
foundation for development in all areas
·
it
helps parents to develop deeper empathy for the children feelings, it enables parents
share in the child's world of excitement, pains and resentments
·
it
helps strengthen the love for the kids and help the children to develop their
full potentials
·
it
helps the children see the parents as friends and ally and not opponents or
pokenosers
·
It
helps the kids overcome fear of life and help the kids see pressure of life
from a different perspective, because they now know they have got a back-bone.
·
It
gives the children the belief that they have personal counselors, guidance and
the right mentorship in any chaotic situation and also help to build their
self-confidence..
With the above benefits, I think it is of utmost interest
that parents should strive to have quality time with their children, no matter
the mouth-watering offers that come with a job. The money wouldn't be enough to
solve the damages done to these kids when the chips are now.
Have you been having issues on how to create a bonding time
with your kids and you are always thinking of a way out, then practicalize with
the tips below and you would be glad you did.
Don't extend your
office work to the home
It will augur well for the family if one doesn't turn the
home into a second office. Make it a habit of focusing on home based struggles
especially meeting the children daily demands.try to win all the medals at home
with home related stuff, seek to win the heart of your kids by showing them
love, care and mentorship. Let all career related things end in the office. Try
to get home on time, have dinner with the kid or kids especially if getting
home for lunch wasn't possible. You could bond with them during meals.
Create fun-time-out
with the kids
Nothing gives the kids fond memories like remembering all the
fond things they did with their parents even in adulthood the memories lingers
on. Don't just drop them off and hurry away, spend quality time finding out
their kind of games, sports and leisure and join them in the games. Apparently
you would creating an everlasting memories on their minds
Reduce the time the
children spend outside the home
Don't allow your child or children spend much time with
nannies, caregivers, minders or in the nursery. Create ample time to also bond
with them. Be also in their lives, I know it can be energy sapping running round
with the very young ones and you might definitely need an assistance, please
remember the meaning “assistance ‘just an helper. So the bulk of the job still
rest on your shoulders. Please carry them without trying to keep them for anybody,
it is solely your responsibility and you delight in it, in the nearest future.
Night time-out bonding
Bonding time doesn't need specific time, it could be any time
of the day especially on days we are less busy and energy is high. if you couldn't
be with the kids throughout the day, you could make it up to them at night,
while don't you tuck them in early in bed, then tell them bed time stories; read
them a book or a poem and also try to sing lullaby for them to send down a
sound sleep. You can't even imagine the magical bonding that would go on
between you and your kids.
Be their mentor and
friend
It is pertinent that you become your children guide, friend, counselor
and preacher. It is on record that in the formative years of a child, he or she
lives and grow through imitation and copying whatever they see their parents
do, be it good or bad. So don't allow the quest for money, career medals,
promotion fame or trophies make your children copy bad habits and behavsours
from morally bankrupt people. Create time them to direct, correct and advise
your children, that way, you would be creating a magnetic bond with your
children and you would become their go-to-person.
Lastly, while we run around as parents to achieve your dreams
of becoming whatever we set our minds to become which is very good but it will
be better that we also infuse into our time and schedule, some valuable space
for our children. A lot of children get damaged from their formative years and
later on in life when they turn out wrong, we begin to question where we got it
all wrong. An adage says, “make frantic effort to search for a black goat while
it is not yet dark”. The gain of bonding with your child/children far outweighs
any pecuniary benefits that you might achieve in the pursuit of career or
whatever dreams or aspiration you may have. So parents, this is a clarion call
to start the bonding process with our kids as early as possible despite all
obstacles or challenges. The ball is in your court to act wisely while you can.