A Stag Night Planning Primer

The stag night is a tradition that goes all the way back to Ancient Greek times when the boys in Sparta gathered for a last blowout before one of their mates stepped off the abyss into married life. While we don't have the films from those early stag do's, we've got a hunch that not a lot has changed since then. The idea is to get piss-drunk, stuff your face with the best food you can get and get your fill of all the things you'll be missing once you tie the knot (read: all the other birds in the bush that you're trading in for the one in the hand).
The honor of planning the stag do traditionally falls to the best man - the fellow you can count on through thick and thin, rain and shine, night or day, drunk or sober.. the chap who knows where to find the strippers, booze bars and paintball courts. If that's you and you haven't the foggiest notion where to start, here's some handy tips to help get you started on the path to perdition - or at least the road to the boozy blast you know you can plot.
1. First things first. Know your mate. The stag do is meant to be HIS night of ignominy, not yours. Before you make arrangements to hire the 40 Salomes with seven veils between them, be sure it's the type of thing he'll appreciate.
2. Once you've got that part out of the way, it's time to start figuring out where to find those Salomes... or something like that. If you've chatted it out and decided that nothing will do for your mate but a full-blown stag weekend, you'll need to get right on the horn to start making arrangements. Stag weekends are big business, and many of the more popular activities and venues are booked up to six months in advance. Get those enquiries out, and be prepared to put down a few deposits to hold dates open.
3. One Month Ahead (Two if you're doing an overseas stag weekend) - run the guest list past your stag, even if you don't tell him that's what it is. It's only fair for him to actually LIKE the folks he's spending his last free party with. Then... send out the invites to give everyone plenty of time to make plans to attend the stag do.
4. Two weeks ahead - confirm all the reservations for your stag night, just to be on the safe side. While you're at it, either designate a driver for the night, or reserve a limo to do the honors. You want everyone at the wedding - not sitting in a lonely jail cell.
5. No matter how tempting it is, don't accept too much help from your buds. The more hands there are on the wheel, the more likely it is that someone will drop the ball - or something like that. You're most likely to get everything done and in place if you see to it yourself.
6. OR - get professional help. If you hire a professional tour organiser to put together the plans for your stag weekend, you can just see to it that everyone shows up with their embarrassing jokes and gags - and sit back to enjoy the best stag do you didn't have to plan.