Making Eye Contact – Reasons Someone Might Avoid Eye Contact When Speaking to You

Apr 09, 2019 By Kayode Oseh

Eye contact is an important body language sign. Why do some people maintain eye contact while others can’t even look you in the eye for more than a couple of seconds? There are several reasons why most people can’t look into other peoples eyeball during conversation.

Why Don’t People Make Eye Contact When Talking to You?

Reason for No Eye Contact – Social Anxiety

Many people have a difficult time looking others in the eyes when they have social anxiety. They are already feeling vulnerable and then on top of that looking someone in the eyes is like the ultimate vulnerability.
Eyes are the window to the soul. So, people with social anxiety will have a difficult time maintaining eye contact. It has nothing to do with you but just their social anxiety kicking in.

Reason for No Eye Contact – They Like You

Sometimes you may think someone doesn’t like you when they don’t look you in the eyes but it can be because they REALLY like you. They might get nervous around you and not want you to see their eyes because it may show their true feelings.

Eyes can show us what people think of us without even realizing it. Our pupils get bigger around someone we like and it low light. Bigger pupils are sexier and they can draw someone to you. This happens on a subconscious level. It is a way of showing someone you like them without actually saying it.

It is like a subtle hint that your body is portraying without even realizing it.
If you really like someone it can be difficult to look them in the eyes. You might be afraid that you will say something stupid that you will regret. You might feel powerless and can’t control what comes out of your mouth so you avoid eye contact.
Reasons for No Eye Contact – They Aren’t Interested in What You are Saying

If someone isn’t interested in you or what you are saying their eyes might scan the room to look for something more interesting to engage in. If someone seems distracted (but not nervous) then they might just not be interested in speaking with you or interested in what you are saying.

This doesn’t mean that you are boring. It could just be that they aren’t interested in that certain topic. Or perhaps they have something else on their mind so they are having a difficult time being interested in what you are saying and therefore distracted by other things going on around them.
Reason for No Eye Contact – You Aren’t Visually Appealing

This one isn’t meant to come across that you aren’t good looking. It’s just that different people have unique tastes in what they find attractive. We have a harder time maintaining eye contact with people who we don’t find visually appealing. I don’t mean that you have to think someone is hot to look at them. But if they have a feature you really don’t like or you just don’t find them very appealing it will be more difficult to maintain eye contact with them. People like looking at things they find attractive.
Reason for No Eye Contact – Low Self Esteem

This one kind of goes with social anxiety but if someone has low self-esteem they will have a difficult time maintaining eye contact. Someone with low self-esteem isn’t confident enough to maintain long periods of eye contact. They may think that you don’t care what they are saying so they will avoid eye contact because they don’t feel important enough.

 Reason for No Eye Contact – They Are Hiding Something

If someone is hiding something or lying about something they will have a difficult time looking you in the eyes. This is not the case for everyone though. There are some people who lie and hide things that can still maintain good eye contact.

They avoid eye contact because they are worried you will see right through them and know that what they are saying isn’t the truth. Since eyes really do show you into someone’s soul they know this and feel guilty so avoid eye contact. If someone doesn’t feel guilty though, they will be able to hold eye contact because even though they are hiding something they don’t feel bad about it.

Reason for No Eye Contact – They Are Having a Bad Day

Sometimes people can be going through something or just be having a bad day so they avoid eye contact. Maybe they don’t want to look someone in the eyes because they know they will start crying.

I’ve been in the position of avoiding eye contact with a friend when I was having an emotional day. I didn’t want to burst into tears. It was easier to not look at them and maintain control over my emotions than having them see I was upset or to ask me what was wrong and have me burst into tears.

Also, people just don’t have any interest in speaking with someone sometimes if they are having a bad day. They are dealing with their own problems and avoid eye contact so they don’t have to talk to someone if they really aren’t into it that day.
Reason for No Eye Contact – They Don’t Want You to Think They Like You or Come Across as Flirty

People of the opposite sex sometimes won’t maintain eye contact because they are worried that you will think they are flirting. They don’t want you to get the wrong idea or think that they are flirting in any way. So, they will avoid eye contact with you.
Final Thoughts – Why Someone Might Avoid Eye Contact While Speaking with You

There can be many reasons as to why someone won’t make eye contact when having a conversation with you. It definitely doesn’t mean they don’t like you, it can be a variety of reasons. You have to consider the circumstances and your relationship to that person. They may just have a crush on you and you have no idea!

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